Welcome, welcome, and thrice, welcome, to Utter Fuckery. I don't suppose much more explanation is needed. This is a blog, of things which I believe, fall into the category of utter fuckery.

They may be things related to my life, popular culture, politics, and on and on, and ariston.

Things you should know - I am prone to swearing, if you didn't get that from the blog title, I despair, and actively discourage you from reading any further.





Wednesday 14 September 2011

Fashion Fuckery, Jacko, and a Slanket

Hello fuckery fans... yes I am talking to myself.. really need to do something about that... anyway.. first up, strapless dresses.. more specifically, strapless dresses strategically hanging from nipples.. It's a trend that I just do not understand, whether on overinflated funbags, or totally deflated a la Ms. Moss, it just looks awful. Hoik those dresses up to where they belong, and you will look a damn sight better. Perhaps don't drag yourself through a bush backwards too Kate, every little helps.





Whilst on the subject of 'fashion', Hilary Alexander, Fashion Director at the Telegraph was spotted at LFW looking like a fucking hobo, in cheetah print baseball boots. I'll be damned if someone who wears shoes likes that is going to influence what I wear. Fucking bag lady.

Jermaine Jackson has been doing the rounds again, trying to vilify Michael and telling us not to listen to any of the nasty things that will be said about him in the coming weeks. Anyone that can name thier child 'Jermasjesty' is a complete and utter fucknut, and as such, should not be listened to. What a complete bunch of loons that family are. I do hope that now they aren't being forced to wear masks and dangled from balconies, his children have a somewhat more normal upbringing. Jermajesty, I mean really! I don't think I will ever get over that one!

Lastly, I am bloody bastard freezing. I am actually shivering. I refuse to put the heating on though, in fact, I am going to attempt to get through the winter without it. There is no way I am paying 18% more than last year just so those robbing bastards at British Gas can swell the coffers even further. How they can justify increasing prices when they are making such huge profits is beyond me, its not as if they are a small independant and are struggling to make ends meet. It's completely ridiculous. To help in this endeavour, I shall be investing in a slanket! Oh yes, I am really going to rock the OAP look this winter, and as long as it means I am not giving BG my hard earned cash, I will be happy.





For those of you that aren't familiar, that ↑↑ is a slanket, does it not just look so cosy and inviting?!? Get involved.





JERMAJESTY! Pah!

xx

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