In February, I nearly lost my sister, after a long hospital battle, she is fine, and it's amazing that she's still here, but it doesn't take away the horrendous moment when a doctor tells you that he's basically fighting to keep alive someone you'd been talking to less than an hour before. That's something I shall never get over, ever. However, she's alive, she's doing well, and I'm grateful.
I've also lost my best friend 5 weeks ago, and that's something I know I won't recover from. The pain and the anger that I feel can not be put into words, nor can the huge hole in my life that's been left. The regrets, and guilt I feel will stay with me. There is nothing anyone can say that will change the way I currently feel.
I know in time, that the cliches that people keep saying to me will actually become reality, but at the moment, thats all they are, cliches.
Thats not to say this year has been all bad, it's had its good parts too, it's just that I am finding it difficult to focus on them at the moment. However, I know that I can not continue moping, and that the new year is a new start, where I shall attempt to be me again, and actually live my life rather than just exist. I know that the only person that can make me feel better is me.
