Why, in a tub of M&S olives, are 50% of them always rank? More importantly, knowing this, why do I continue to purchase them?
Why, when I am dressed for Autumn, does it now feel practically tropical? I now glow. Not in that dewy, sexy shimmery way, but in that 'I'm too fucking hot and I can't take of my cardigan' way.
Why can marketeers not stop making my life hell? I really do not want to discuss the emotional attachment you form with a piece of chocolate shaped like a demonic bunny. In fact, if you try that line of discussion with me again, I will have no choice but to tell you what a fuckwit you really are.
And last, but by no means least....
Why, and this is a big why, do some people insist on adopting babyish tones when talking about cuddly toys? Are these the same people that adorn the parcel shelves of thier cars with them? Fair enough if you have children, I suppose. However, I suspect that these people, do not have children, and are essentially just MASSIVE twats.
xx
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